What is Constructive Dialogue?

There is so much hidden beneath people's statements. Asking questions can play a powerful role in uncovering the context, motivations, and values that inform another person’s views. When you lead with questions that invite others to share something meaningful or that seek out the nuances of someone’s perspective, you’ll quickly discover new possibilities in conversations across differences.

Stories move people emotionally. They offer context to facts and figures. And they can allow you to convey your own views without telling someone else their view is wrong. Stories can be a powerful tool to replace frustrating disagreements with constructive ones. Instead of telling someone what you think, tell them a story about why an issue matters to you or how it affects you. And then invite them to do the same.

It’s normal for tensions to rise when discussing sensitive and controversial issues. We are biologically wired to activate a fight, flight, or freeze response to these heated moments. These responses often leave us feeling like we have less control over our actions and are more likely to say or do something we later regret. By identifying when your fight, flight, or freeze response is starting to take hold and pausing to regain control of the situation, you are much better positioned to move forward with intention.

The commonalities we find with each other – both big and small – can be the glue that holds a conversation together through conflict. Finding what’s shared is about purposefully seeking out those similarities and using them to move forward together, even in the middle of a disagreement.