What is Constructive Dialogue?

Not all questions are created equal. Questions that are laced with judgment or are meant to trap someone can quickly undermine dialogue. But questions that invite someone to share something meaningful, are genuinely curious, or seek out the nuances of someone else’s perspective can create possibilities to connect. Be intentional about asking nonjudgmental questions that invite meaningful responses.

Stories move people emotionally. They offer context to facts and figures. And they can allow you to convey your own views without telling someone else their view is wrong. Stories can be a powerful tool to replace frustrating disagreements with constructive ones. Instead of telling someone what you think, tell them a story about why an issue matters to you or how it affects you. And then invite them to do the same.

If tensions rise during difficult conversations, it's important to address what you're experiencing and make room for others to do the same. Explain how you're feeling or why you’re reacting in a certain way – including mistakes you may have made. Acknowledge others' emotions. Doing so doesn’t mean you’re endorsing their view, but it can build trust and understanding.

The commonalities we find with each other – both big and small – can be the glue that holds a conversation together through conflict. Finding what’s shared is about purposefully seeking out those similarities and using them to move forward together, even in the middle of a disagreement.